Sometimes I don't really know what I should blog about. Then I think about what I've been spending too much time doing, and at the moment it seems to be swiping right/left on my phone, or clearing out the barrage of okcupid emails from my inbox.
Here are my ADD thoughts on the subject.
It's funny, because I've always encouraged others to try online dating (which now includes apps). I still think it's a great idea, in theory. I know a lot of people that have met their partner, spouse, soulmate, even best friend via the online world of bringing people together. Honestly, it seems no different than meeting someone in a bar or out in the world, only this way I guess you get to do a little screening and (the big bonus), know that they're at least somewhat interested in you.
So why do I cringe every time I get an alert on my phone?!
Well, I guess because I'm awkward and shy in my own way, and dating is scary. Sometimes I get way too overconfident and am like, "ALL THE DATES" and then the next day, in a strange sort of Tinder hangover, I have to go through and unmatch everyone I suddenly decided to message things that only I find funny.
Pros and Cons. Pros and Cons.
I suppose a big perk to online dating is that in the real world, you may see someone you like 1 out of 3 times you go out, and even if you go and talk to them, those numbers pale in comparison to the condensed 10+ people you could talk to any given day. But that also means all the creepers and weirdos and horribly uncomfortable situations are also condensed.
You kind of have to appreciate it all, though. Aren't humans weird? I had one dude send me a picture of his cat. Cute cat, but it was part of his opening line. I don't know if I can compete with that, seeing as his cat is what he considers his "best foot forward".
You get the ones that constantly message you even without encouragement.
Of course, there's the occasional "DTF?", which, though a generous offer, I politely decline.
Sometimes there are just way too many views or messages to really go through and think about, and I get completely overwhelmed. This sounds like one of those problems where people are like "oh no, too many people like you", but that's not actually it. I feel like a lot of people I talk to have the same thing, especially being in NYC since the population is just so dense, you're bound to have several people looking. Also, I don't mean I have 400 messages, I mea it's "likes" and "matches" and percentages, and messages and winks and views... it's a lot of different things that represent different possible levels of interest- that's a lot of things!
TANGENT: Speaking of winks, I did pass a cute guy in the subway station the other day and almost winked at him as I walked by. Does anyone wink like that anymore? I regret not doing it. At the least, maybe it would have made him feel good. Or be creeped out (have y'all seen me wink?) and have a good story to tell a less creepy girl later.
Back on track. Every once in a while I get the balls to write someone back, but they seem to get just as shy as I am, and don't really want to come out- to be fair usually I mean "I'm already out, come and say hi", which maybe is too short notice for them. But that's more the type of person I am, so I guess that helps whittle it down.
Oh well. I feel like there is a whole lot of putting your toes in, and pulling back as your comfort level grows. I start accounts but never activate them. Or activate them and then turn them off. Write people messages and then stop all communication.
Props to all those people trying out there. Dating is hard and weird. I'm awkward (SO AWKWARD) and strange, and not a lot of people get me. But I am who I am, and hopefully by just being that I'll meet some cool people that like to hang out with weirdos like me.
P.S. One of my highlights- A 0% match sent me a pic of his bicep and all he said was "ooh la la". Well done, sir. For someone who is apparently completely incompatible with me, you sure did make me laugh out loud.
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